My Boyfriend Won't Shave His Beard
'Dr. Beardface?' 'It's Beardfacé!'
Hey Jessie and Kyle, I know this is kind of a stupid question, but here goes. My boyfriend grew a beard because the Lakers were in the playoffs, and he and his friends decided not to shave until they won their third straight NBA championship. The Lakers are out of it now, and I was secretly happy, because I HATE kissing him when he has that scruffy face. But now he says he likes the beard, and wants to keep it. I asked him why, and he said he's gotten "a lot of compliments." I'm not sure what that means, because the compliments have definitely NOT been coming from me. How do I get him to shave this thing off?
- Anna, 29
Jessie says: You're not alone Anna - Carrie Underwood just said the exact same thing about her ice-hockey playing husband, Mike Fisher. He plays for the Nashville Predators (who just got bounced from the playoffs too, by the way) and he grew a beard along with the rest of the team while their Stanley Cup hopes were alive. And she said it almost got to the point where she refused to kiss him, because it hurt so much.
Personally, I'm not much for long ZZ Top-style facial hair. There should be no forests growing above, or below, if you know what I mean. The only beard I like is on my dog, which you can see to the left, next to Kyle's dog. Yes, that is my actual dog, and no, I don't want you to send me mass emails telling me how cute she is. I already know, thank you very much.
I do like how it looks when a guy has a little bit of scruff, that can be a major turn on. But frankly, it's painful to touch.
Guys, you gotta think of it this way: If a beard makes you happy, super. But it does hurt women when you kiss. Face burn from jagged hair is a real bitch, and it can leave actual, red marks on a woman's skin. Do you really want to pain the woman you love? You're not the Marquis de Sade. Or are you...
Kyle says: There's no such thing as a stupid question, Anna - only stupid men who refuse to shave for the women who want to 'do' them. As someone spectacularly unqualified to discuss the merits of sexy beards, or lack thereof, I will simply say this: some guys do look better with beards. And the guys who do, know it. That's why they keep the beard. For example, I have a friend who has sort of a baby-face, but he insists on growing a scraggly beard that goes all down his neck, because he says it gives him "chinfidence," aka, confidence that his "weak chin" now looks better. And you know what - he might be right.
It's confusing to be a guy these days - project masculinity but stay in touch with your feelings, uphold old-school chivalry but "manscape" downstairs by shaving your junk. But guys just want to do guy stuff for the sake of stupid guy stuff sometimes, and I think they need that outlet now and again. I say, now is not the time to bug him. Let your guy deal with his beard for a little longer, since he's probably pissed about the Lakers choking in four straight, and doesn't need to hear you getting after him about his beard. And he probably only said he got compliments about it because you made it clear you hate it so much.
What do people think? Manscape the face, or let the sting of playoff failure subside first?
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Posted by What Would Jessie Do at May 10, 2011 2:36 AM 
Categories: Relationships, Health and Fitness
Tags: beard face boyfriend scratch kiss carrie underwood
Categories: Relationships, Health and Fitness
Tags: beard face boyfriend scratch kiss carrie underwood
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