Hey guys - I'm dating a new guy, and in the past couple weeks I've woken up in the night to find him watching me while I sleep. I thought it was cute at first, but now it's getting creepy. He said he "just likes to watch me sleep." I don't know what that's about, but it just doesn't feel right. How do I get him to stop? He's totally normal except for this one thing. Do guys really like watching women sleep that much? --Karen, 30
Jessie says: Karen, RUN! Don't spend another night with this guy. Run away now before he turns you into his new decorative lampshade!
Okay, maybe I'm being a little overdramatic. Let me explain. Waking up in the morning to your boyfriend staring at you is fine. Waking up in the middle of the night to your boyfriend staring at you is weird. Just, really, really strange. And the fact that this has happened to you more than once in the past couple of weeks? I don't like it.
We've mentioned our strange hatred/fascination with the "Twilight" series before. Here's one of the reasons why: throughout the movie, Robert Pattinson stares creepily at Kristen Stewart. It's a staple of the movie, and for some reason every time he does it, teenage girls swoon. What the hell? It sounds to me like your boyfriend might have one of two things: 1.) An unhealthy obsession with you, or 2.) An unhealthy obsession with sleeping people. And when it comes down to it, do you really want someone to be into you while you're in an incapacitated state? I don't think so.
Kyle says: There's two ways to look at this. First, I'm picturing something like the girl in "Paranormal Activity" swaying over Micah's bed at night. For hours.
But maybe it's more of a "Last of the Mohicans" thing, where Daniel Day Lewis practically impregnates Madeleine Stowe just by staring at her:
Cora Munro: What are you looking at, sir?
Hawkeye: I'm looking at you, miss...
Great scene, but let's face it, only Daniel Day Lewis can get away with something like that, and only in the movies. Otherwise it's just creepy. I know, because like all guys, I've tried staring at girls in bars in the vain hope that all the wit, charm, intelligence and humor I can summon from my being will be transmitted across the room by my gaze alone, and persuade her to leave her friends, dispense with the pleasantries, and come home with me immediately. It doesn't work.
Karen, I'm going to assume you're a beautiful woman and worth staring at, so please don't take offense at this: if you wake up and find your guy staring at you multiple times in a short period of time, it doesn't means he's captivated by your beauty. It means he's a huge nerd who hasn't gotten ass in years, and can't believe his luck that he has a real live woman sleeping next to him. That could be a problem, yes?
Okay people, are we throwing cold water on some sort of romantic gesture? Is this guy Karen's own personal R Patz? Or is she going to find him swaying over the bed next time?
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