What Would Jessie Do? | You Have Questions, We Have Answers

Six Signs You Should Call Off Your Wedding

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 22:10:18 GMT

Kim Kardashian sent this out to her wedding guests letting

them know she was donating double the cost of her wedding gifts to charity - $200,000.

So you're engaged, and it should be a happy, wonderful time in your life. Unfortunately you're starting to second-guess the wedding, and it's not just a classic case of cold feet. Kyle and I are here to help.

Here are six signs that getting married may not be the best idea, and you should call off the wedding.

1. You're only doing it because you're "not getting any younger." Getting married because you're older and it's the "right time" is never a good enough reason. You should WANT to get married; don't feel pressured because society dictates that it's the right time for you.

2. You're doing it to appease your parents. I, Jessie, am only 28, and I'm already feeling the pressure from my mom to settle down and get married. No thank you. I'll get married when it's the right time, and no amount of pressure from anyone else will change my mind. You should feel the same way.

3. You don't believe in marriage, but you want to make your partner happy. Don't give up what you want to make someone else happy. If you both want different things, and you're compromising on a decision as enormous as getting married, you'll end up holding it against your partner forever. It's not healthy.

4. You rushed into the decision to get married. Marriage is a huge deal, and it's not something you decide to do on a whim. Just think about Britney Spears' 55-hour wedding, Sinead O'Connor's 16-day wedding, and yes, Kim Kardashian's 72-day wedding. (Think of Kim Kardashian as the 'cautionary tale' of this post.)

5. You don't trust the person you're marrying. If your partner has a history of cheating and infidelity, I promise you... marriage is not going to change that. You will never be able to fully trust them, and marriage will probably make things even messier when it doesn't work out.

6. Your partner doesn't want to set a date. It's normal for an engagement to go on for a year, or even a little over a year. But anything more than that isn't okay. If the person you're engaged to doesn't want to set a date, or seems uncomfortable at the idea of a wedding, you should call it off, because they don't want to get married.

My Ex-Girlfriend Is Engaged After Dating a Guy for a Month

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:03:53 GMT

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo just announced that they're having a baby.

And speaking of pregnancies, we've all heard the 'Snooki is pregnant' rumors by now. But the new word is that not only is she pregnant, she's also engaged to her boyfriend, Jionni. (He's the one she went screaming down the streets of Italy looking for after a night of drinking and showing off her 'little princess.' Or so a friend told me.)

For those of you without baby fever, here's our latest reader question.

I just got out of a very tumultuous three-year relationship with a woman who is very complicated. The entire time we went out she claimed she was "steadfastly single," and that she just didn't want to be in a relationship. She led me on and acted like my girlfriend, and we'd hang out five or six days a week. About two months ago I completely cut her loose and started dating someone else. But now she's ENGAGED to a guy she's only been dating for a month and a half. What the hell?

Jessie

Yikes. Pardon my french here, but your ex-girlfriend sounds like a real asshole. Yes, women can be assholes too.

Three years of being strung along? Oof. Why didn't you escape the relationship earlier? She told you she didn't want a relationship, so that should have been your cue to escape and find someone who would treat you better.

I know hindsight is 20/20. And it's a lot easier to look back and ponder the things you should have done once you've already been through the experience. As far as her new relationship goes? It won't last. And here's why.

I guarantee she was hurt when you started dating someone else. Maybe she was seeing this other guy, who knows... but that fact that you moved on bothered her. She pushed her relationship forward super fast with this other guy to catch up to you, and now she's engaged after a month. Stuff like this happens with 'complex' people all the time.

You know what I've learned? People don't change overnight. You don't go from three years of not wanting a relationship, to all of a sudden getting serious with someone after dating them for just over a month. Don't be surprised if she calls you to let you know she ended the engagement. And when she says she wants you back? Run the other direction.

Kyle

This is going to be one of the few times Jessie and I actually agree with each other, so make a note because hell must have finally frozen over.

Jessie hit the nail on the head when she said that people don't change. They just don't. What you see is what you get. And after three years of being with this person, I'd assume you know her very well. Well enough at least to know that an engagement after a month is definitely out of character for her.

On some level your ex-girlfriend is doing this to show you that loud and clear, she's moved on. The problem is, as you so aptly stated, it's a total farce. She hasn't moved on. She's just trying to shove a new relationship in your face to hurt you.

I don't think it takes a psychologist to figure out that this woman has some definite intimacy issues. And truthfully, I feel bad for the guy she's leading on right now, because he's definitely going to end up getting hurt.

You were lucky to have escaped the situation. Since you came out of the relationship alive (and yes, it was definitely a relationship, and you both were absolutely dating), STAY OUT of it. When she comes crawling back saying she made a mistake, don't listen. You've moved on. Let her continue to make her own mistakes.

So... was this girl stringing the guy along the whole time? Is she trying to make him jealous by jumping into a new relationship too quickly?

Here are some recent pictures of Snooki where she's supposedly hiding her "baby bump."

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

Nine Signs a Guy Doesn't Want a Serious Relationship With You

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 21:42:50 GMT

Kaley Cuoco and her ex-fiancé in happier times.

Kaley Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory just announced that her five-month engagement to her fiancé, Josh Resnik, was called off. She never said why, but it made Kyle and I think about seriousness in relationships.

You can read He's Just Not That Into You, The Rules and Why Men Love Bitches as many times as you want, but women still have a hard time figuring out whether or not a guy is into them seriously. Luckily, Kyle and I are here to help. Without the gimmicky titles and fluff, we bring you...

Nine Signs a Guy Doesn't Want a Serious Relationship With You.

1. He's dating other people, or he's married. If he tells you he wants a casual thing because he's seeing other people... please, please please take him at his word. I promise you he will NOT change his mind. And if you're dating a guy who's married... forget about it. Married men never leave their wives. Even if they did, would you really want to be Angelina Jolie?

The leg seen 'round the world.

2. He tells you he doesn't want a serious relationship. Women only hear what they want to hear, and they try to carefully dissect everything men say. Men, on the other hand, are brutally honest. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, guess what, he doesn't want a relationship. And to go a little deeper... it usually means he just doesn't want a relationship with YOU.

3. He's in his 30's and he doesn't have a steady job. When guys are in their 20's and they're still making their way in the world, they tend to be a little more lenient about dating. But once they hit 30, and particularly their mid-30's, they start to reevaluate where they are in their lives. At this point they're looking for someone to settle down with for good. And if they don't have the cash flow to make this happen, they don't want to go for serious relationships.

4. He never takes you out, and all you do is hook up. There are so many women out there who think, 'Even if we're just hooking up, I know he'll start to have serious feelings for me, and we'll lock it down.' Sorry. It just doesn't happen. I'm not even going to mention any sort of 'exception to the rule.' If a guy only wants to hook up with you, and you never go out with him anywhere, he's not a good guy, and he's definitely not worth your time.

5. He's never introduced you to his friends or family. A guy who wants something serious will always, without fail, want to show you off to the world. They'll want to shout from the rooftops, "Oh my god, I'm with (enter your name here)!" They will not hide you from their family and friends, which almost always happens when you're in the 'casual, convenient' category.

6. He doesn't want to be with you, but he doesn't want you to be with anyone else. This is a classic dick move. I've known girls who have been strung along by guys for years, and the guys act all upset when the girl starts dating someone else. But once he has the girl again, he doesn't want her. It's a classic move. If this happens to you, don't be fooled. The guy doesn't want to be with you, he just wants what he can't have. Once he has it, he'll go back to being an aloof a-hole.

7. He never makes plans in advance. If he only calls you sporadically, or texts you an hour before he wants to hang out, you're just a convenience to him. And he probably does it so much because you say 'yes' every time. Guys who are serious about you always make plans ahead of time, because they like knowing when they'll see you again.

8. He only calls or texts you to hook up. This one is pretty obvious, but some women still don't get it. Guys can hook up without emotions. Women can't. When they call you to hook up, that's all they want... hooking up. And nothing will change their minds.

9. He calls you his "friend." Ouch. That's rough. Cut him loose and save yourself the trouble.

The Guy I'm Dating Carries Condoms Everywhere... Is He Skeezy?

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 22:26:58 GMT

Zac Efron dropped a Magnum condom at the premiere of "The Lorax." Yes, a MAGNUM condom.

About a week ago, Zac Efron dropped a Magnum condom at the premiere of "The Lorax." And today, he actually fessed up to doing it. Check out his interview with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show:

Hey guys - I just started dating a guy, and we're not exclusive yet. The obnoxious thing is, he carries a condom either in his wallet or in his pocket wherever he goes. Is he a total skeeze-ball? Do guys really think women will just sleep with them at the drop of a hat?

Jessie

You have NO idea how much I empathize with you. I dated a guy who did the exact same thing. And you know what? He turned out to be one of the biggest jerks I ever dated in my life.

(After a year of stringing me along he claimed we "never dated." Right. A-hole.)

Sorry for the tangent. Back to your problems. Zac Efron is one thing, because he's hot... girls want to bang him because he's sexy and famous... and he probably could have sex anywhere he goes. If the guy you're dating is cocky, flirtatious and narcissistic, I'd worry.

See, if you guys aren't getting-it-on in random places, then he's definitely up for the possibility of sex with whoever, whenever. You said you just starting dating him, so give it a little time to see how it pans out.

The thought of dating a guy who's sleeping with other people is pretty disgusting, though. Try this: start carrying a condom everywhere, too, to suss out how he feels. If it bums him out or makes him nervous, you know he really likes you. And if it's the flip side, well... wrap that shit up before you tap it.

Kyle

Hold it, hold it, hold it. You JUST started dating this guy, and you're already thinking he's dirty because he carries around a condom? What the hell is wrong with women sometimes?

This guy is being safe when he has sex. He's carrying a condom. If anything, that should make you incredibly relieved.

Plus, in the early stages of dating, there aren't any rules. Until you become official, it's pretty much a given that you're both dating other people and... shocker... having sex with them. This shouldn't be news to you. It's a fact.

You know what else? Here's a dirty little guy secret: I have a million buddies who carry condoms in their wallets just because. No real reason why. And actually, one of my friends has carried the same condom in his wallet since he was 16. Some guys just think it looks cool. Stupid, I know. But true.

My opinion? He's not a shady 'skeeze-ball.' He's just a GUY. And guys have condoms. Was Zac Efron really going to hook up with someone at a movie premiere? Probably not. But if he did, hell... I'd shake his hand and buy him a drink.

So... are guys who carry condoms with them philandering jack-offs? Or are they just being safe, you know, in case?

Here are some pictures of Zac arriving at the "Today" show. I know all you're thinking about is whether there's a Magnum jimmy in his pocket, though.

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

Five Things to Take Away from Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's Relationship

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:41:02 GMT

"Kiss my ass!"

Whitney Houston was a legend, and there's no question that her tumultuous relationship with Bobby Brown led her down a pretty bad path. Here's what you can learn from their mistakes:

1. Just because you love each other, it doesn't mean you're right for each other. Whitney and Bobby had a rocky relationship. You can be in love with someone, but it doesn't mean they're the right person for you. Think about all the abused women out there who love their husbands. Should they stay together? Probably not. Bobby Brown was a horrible influence on Whitney, and her family hated him for that.

2. Don't be pressured to do anything you don't want to do. This one's pretty clear. And also, don't do drugs. Ever. Because the crack is wack.

3. You have to set a good example for your kids. Whitney and Bobby's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, has also allegedly had her own problems with drugs. She was photographed snorting cocaine, and she also apparently got high after Whitney's funeral. Your kids look up to you, and they often emulate what you do. Remember that.

4. Don't put aside the things you love for your significant other. Whitney was a brilliant singer. During her time with Bobby Brown she lost her way and stopped singing, when she should have been in her prime. Please don't put what you love on the backburner for someone else.

5. And finally, don't ever, ever let anyone film a reality show about your family. Nothing good can ever come of it… it's how the world was introduced to Kim Kardashian. If that doesn't horrify you, I don't know what else will.

My Boyfriend Gets Pissed Off Whenever I Dress All Sexy

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 05:48:55 GMT

What guy wouldn't want to show off these delicious sugar lumps?

After a long hiatus, Jessie and Kyle are back to answer your delightful questions! You must be very excited. So let's get started.

There was a rumor going around over the weekend that Jennifer Aniston had her topless scene scrapped from her new movie, "Wanderlust," for her boyfriend, Justin Theroux. The rumor turned out to be bogus, but here's a reader question that relates:

Jessie and Kyle: I'm 22, in my prime, and I have a hot body. My boyfriend of six months, Jake, HATES when I wear sexy clothes. He thinks I'm asking for attention, and he doesn't like it when other guys stare at me. I don't get it. Shouldn't he be proud that he's dating a girl who's so hot?

Jessie

Hello modest anonymous reader! It sounds like you're in quite the pickle. Oh, what it is to be young and beautiful with nary a care in the world.

I sort of empathize with you. Not in the same egocentric way, but I understand where you're coming from. I dated a guy who once zipped up my tight, cleavage-showing sweater because he thought it was 'too revealing.' I broke up with him the next day.

I mean come on, this is America.

Women are free here. We have rights. We're not forced to wear burkas, and we don't get caned every time we show bits of our naughty ankles.

In short: Your boyfriend needs to lighten the eff up. Hasn't he ever heard of the concept of a 'trophy wife?' Guys love showing off their ladies assets (pun deeply intended). If you were wearing skimpy stuff and flirting with other guys, that wouldn't be cool. But if you like the way you look, and he gets pissed when you flaunt it, it sounds like he's definitely not ready for your jelly.

Kyle
I know a lot of guys are going to hate on me for this, but... I agree with the boyfriend here. Now everyone, hear me out, please.

Relationships are all about give and take. If there was something he did which made you super uncomfortable, would you expect him to write a message to an advice website? Or would he listen to you and make the change? I'm guessing it's the latter.

Here's the thing. I like the women I date to look presentable and attractive. And I'm proud of them for it. But when you start showing too much, you look desperate. Did you ever stop to think that maybe your humps and sugar lumps are way too accessible to everyone?

If I had a girlfriend, and she looked as good as Jennifer Aniston does on those "GQ" covers, I'm not sure I'd be totally down with all the guys out there ogling her goodie bags. And I'm not a jealous person at all.

Try to make a compromise. Maybe show a little less cleavage, or make sure your clothes aren't that tight. Enjoying your young, nubile body is what your 20's are for. But don't enjoy it too much.

What does everyone else think? Should guys get upset when their girlfriends show off the goods? Or is this particular guy acting like a frigid pansy?

Also, enjoy these pictures of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux at the Wanderlust premiere on Friday. Even though they weren't pictured together, they both wore similar 'name rings.'

And here's the trailer for Wanderlust (unfortunately, it's sans Jennifer Aniston's topless scene):

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

My Girlfriend Won't Watch Old Movies When Celebrities Act Like Scumbags

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:03:00 GMT

Hi Jessie and Kyle. I'm sure you already heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out and admitted that he had a child out of wedlock a decade ago. And that THAT's the real reason he and Maria Shriver broke up. So I'm curious where you stand on an argument I just had with my girlfriend. She says that when celebrities act like jerks, she can't see them the same way, and won't watch their old movies, no matter how good they are. Now, with Schwarzenegger, that might not be such a bad thing. But we actually had the argument about Mel Gibson, and he has a better track record when it comes to watchable movies. - John Connor, 27

Jessie

I'll assume John Connor was a joke. Since if you were really John Connor, you'd be older now. But that depends on whether you're the Edward Furlong John Connor from "Terminator 2: Judgment Day", the one from the TV show, or the one played by Anton Yelchin...aka 'Chekov' from the Star Trek reboot ...in the abortion that was "Terminator: Salvation."

I'm not even going to mention "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines." Not even Arnold can save that series now.

As a transplant to California who's lived through Schwarzenegger's political 'career,' and someone who's now watched more lame Terminator projects than good ones, I have to ask: when does the lousy stuff that someone does in their personal and professional life eclipse the good stuff in their body of work? It depends on the person. Schwarzenegger? Thumbs down.

California's a mess, and you can't even bring up "Predator" without thinking of all the lousy sequels and spin-offs. I agree with your girlfriend, John. Lying to Maria Shriver for a friggin DECADE about another baby is just the icing on the cake. The 'cake' being a dead career of has-beens, never-was's, and faded glory.

Kyle

I'm a little older than Jessie, so I remember Schwarzenegger in his prime. I also remember when I started to hate him.

It was a little thing called "Kindergarten Cop", and a game called "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" We've watched so many stars fall from grace since then. But I agree with Jessie - it sort of depends on who we're talking about. Were Arnold's movies ever even that watchable in the first place? No. But, I'm NOT about to never watch "Chinatown" again because of Roman Polanski's crimes in the 70's, as hard as they are to stomach.

With other people, it's more difficult to definitively say yay or nay. Ever since Mel went nuts, I've had a hard time watching him act like he's nuts on camera. That's especially painful for me, since "The Road Warrior", aka "Mad Max 2", was my favorite movie for two decades. Now? My framed original movie poster of it sits in the closet. But I don't want to part with it just yet.

What do you guys think? Does appreciating someone's artistic output mean you have to agree with everything they do or say? Here's another way to look at it: President Obama invited the rapper Common to the White House. But Common thinks Assata Shakur DIDN'T kill a cop in the 1970's, even though she was convicted of it. Should Obama NOT have invited Common? If you think these are easy questions to answer, watch Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly go at it.

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

I'm Attracted to a Little Person

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Mon, 16 May 2011 08:50:00 GMT

Is Tyrion Lannister sexy? Break me off the whole thing, baby.

Jessie and Kyle - You guys have hardly posted anything lately. What the hell? Anyway, I've been watching that show "Game of Thrones" with my boyfriend. I know you guys talked about it a while back, and when it started, I begrudgingly agreed to watch it. But now I really enjoy it, and actually... I find myself strangely attracted to the 'little person' on the show. I've never been interested in little people before, but the guy on the show is kind of hot. Is that weird?

Jessie says: First of all, thank you for bringing up our sporadic posting, anonymous reader. Things have been a bit busy for Kyle and me, but now that they've slowed down a bit, we'll be back on track and posting regularly! Feel free to dog us anytime and in any way you like for not posting as much as we should. We really enjoy throwing those emails away.

Now on to the topic at hand: little people. The actor you're referring to is Peter Dinklage, and he's one of the most popular little actors around. Not only is he little AND a great actor, but he also has a pretty hot, normal-sized wife and a large dog to boot.

Peter Dinklage with his wife and his dog.

You know, I do find him to be kind of attractive. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's his cockiness on the show, or maybe it's that he's a good-looking dude. When I think of Peter Dinklage I'm always reminded of that episode of "30 Rock" where a baby-crazy Tina Fey mistakes him for a child, tousles his hair, and ends up dating him because she feels bad. He totally stole the show in that episode. If you haven't seen it, you must. (You can read The Onion A.V. Club's write-up on it here.)

He seems very confident, which is sexy. But would I date him? No. Now, it's nothing against little people specifically. But I do have a height requirement for the men I date: they have to be taller than me. I'm 5'7", and unfortunately I don't bend that rule for anyone, not even actors. But there's no doubt that he's a great-looking man. And if I was in an experimental mood... I wouldn't mind drinking a couple glasses of wine and seeing where the night would take us.

Kyle says: Tyrion Lannister is hands-down the most fascinating and charismatic of the many characters in the sprawling epic that is "A Song of Fire and Ice," aka HBO's "Game of Thrones." And as an actor, Dinklage nails the part. (Although some fanboys have been bitching on online forums about his accent. I tend to agree: I think his 'elevated diction' stands out because he's one of the only Americans in the cast. Hopefully it'll evolve as the show goes on.)

So, not only is Tyrion a well-written character, but Dinklage is an actor at the top of his game, attacking the part with gusto. So I could see why any viewer would be drawn to him. He also has a handsome face. When you combine all three, I totally get how women would consider Tyrion/Peter Dinklage a sex symbol of sorts. It also makes me think that the success of the show, and his part in it, could seriously elevate how people think of 'little people' and their relative attractiveness. Let's see how the show plays out. We've come a long way from "Time Bandits".

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

I'm Dating a Guy Who's Insecure About His Hair

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Mon, 16 May 2011 02:03:00 GMT

"Dust in the wind..."

Hey Jessie and Kyle, I recently started dating a guy who's insecure about his hair, and I wanted your opinion. First of all, he's not bald. Second of all, he doesn't even LOOK like he's losing his hair. So I'm not sure what the problem is, I just know that he's always making self-deprecating remarks about his hairline. His older brother and his father have receding hairlines, and he's always talking about ways to prevent it. He won't even wear a baseball hat, because he's worried it might affect his scalp! The thing is, I don't care either way. My problem is his insecurity and vanity about it. It makes me wonder how he'll deal with REAL problems if we ever get serious. - Carly, 28

Jessie says: Maybe all the recent news about Donald Trump has your guy freaked out? Seriously, what is that thing on Trump's head. Wait, I know! Because he just revealed his secrets in Rolling Stone. Allow me to summarize: Trump NEVER dries his hair. He lets it dry by itself. That takes an hour. And, it's not a comb-over, "it's a little bit forward and back." Whatever that means

The point is, the biggest stuffed-shirt in America is so insecure about his hair, he doesn't dry it after a shower, in case one precious strand ends up on the towel. Then he combs it forward and back...but it's not a comb-over? Come on, this guy has billions, a supermodel wife, and helicopters with his name on the side, but he still clearly spends a ton of time pretending he's not losing his hair. He's insecure about it.

My point is, if a rich guy with everything is that insecure, there's something going on here. Some men just equate having hair with having confidence. But what they don't realize is, projecting confidence means NOT bitching about superficial stuff like your hairline. Just roll with it, guys, and we will roll with you.

Kyle says: Poor Trump. He needs a boost. I know...he should yap about running for president for weeks, based solely on two things: Obama wasn't born here, and Obama's not tough enough to deal with our most intractable problems. Then he'll be up in the polls, and he'll feel great about himself! As long as Obama doesn't simultaneously prove he was born here, and deal with one of our biggest longstanding problems. Then it's back to obsessing about his hair...

Jessie makes a great point - confidence is one of those things you can just smell. If a chubby dude doesn't care about his weight, he's practically invincible. And adorably chubby. But if he makes too many jokes about his weight, in an obvious attempt to address the issue, it comes off as desperate. Like a comedian onstage in a flop sweat, who knows he's bombing. Like Roseanne Barr said: "If you're fat...just, like, be fat and shut up. And if you're skinny EFF you!

Same thing with hair. It's a sensitive topic for guys, and I'm surprised women (Jessie) aren't more understanding, since you ladies spend so much time on your presentation. Carly - try to feel your guy's pain a little. Let him know you don't give a crap what he looks like. Then maybe he can feel a little more secure, and let go of the issue. Because I guarantee he's bringing it up as a way to see what you think.

Let's hear from the ladies. Is great hair really that big a deal? Wouldn't you rather your guy go Diesel than raccoon-headed Trump?

[Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at wouldjessie@wouldjessie.com, or just write your question in the comments. And be sure to check out our Twitter feed.]

My Boyfriend Won't Shave His Beard

WWJessieDo@gmail.com (What Would Jessie Do) — Tue, 10 May 2011 10:36:00 GMT

'Dr. Beardface?' 'It's Beardfacé!'

Hey Jessie and Kyle, I know this is kind of a stupid question, but here goes. My boyfriend grew a beard because the Lakers were in the playoffs, and he and his friends decided not to shave until they won their third straight NBA championship. The Lakers are out of it now, and I was secretly happy, because I HATE kissing him when he has that scruffy face. But now he says he likes the beard, and wants to keep it. I asked him why, and he said he's gotten "a lot of compliments." I'm not sure what that means, because the compliments have definitely NOT been coming from me. How do I get him to shave this thing off?
- Anna, 29

Jessie says: You're not alone Anna - Carrie Underwood just said the exact same thing about her ice-hockey playing husband, Mike Fisher. He plays for the Nashville Predators (who just got bounced from the playoffs too, by the way) and he grew a beard along with the rest of the team while their Stanley Cup hopes were alive. And she said it almost got to the point where she refused to kiss him, because it hurt so much.

Personally, I'm not much for long ZZ Top-style facial hair. There should be no forests growing above, or below, if you know what I mean. The only beard I like is on my dog, which you can see to the left, next to Kyle's dog. Yes, that is my actual dog, and no, I don't want you to send me mass emails telling me how cute she is. I already know, thank you very much.

I do like how it looks when a guy has a little bit of scruff, that can be a major turn on. But frankly, it's painful to touch.

Guys, you gotta think of it this way: If a beard makes you happy, super. But it does hurt women when you kiss. Face burn from jagged hair is a real bitch, and it can leave actual, red marks on a woman's skin. Do you really want to pain the woman you love? You're not the Marquis de Sade. Or are you...

Kyle says: There's no such thing as a stupid question, Anna - only stupid men who refuse to shave for the women who want to 'do' them. As someone spectacularly unqualified to discuss the merits of sexy beards, or lack thereof, I will simply say this: some guys do look better with beards. And the guys who do, know it. That's why they keep the beard. For example, I have a friend who has sort of a baby-face, but he insists on growing a scraggly beard that goes all down his neck, because he says it gives him "chinfidence," aka, confidence that his "weak chin" now looks better. And you know what - he might be right.

It's confusing to be a guy these days - project masculinity but stay in touch with your feelings, uphold old-school chivalry but "manscape" downstairs by shaving your junk. But guys just want to do guy stuff for the sake of stupid guy stuff sometimes, and I think they need that outlet now and again. I say, now is not the time to bug him. Let your guy deal with his beard for a little longer, since he's probably pissed about the Lakers choking in four straight, and doesn't need to hear you getting after him about his beard. And he probably only said he got compliments about it because you made it clear you hate it so much.

What do people think? Manscape the face, or let the sting of playoff failure subside first?

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